TOP 5 FLICKS YOU PROBABLY HAVEN’T HEARD OF

I’ll keep it short and sweet. Everybody thinks they’re a movie buff, but only a special few go above and beyond the shelves of Blockbusters to find hidden gems. This is dedicated to the few, the proud, the film geek!

1. Action movie- La Femme Nikita

Does this dress make my ass look fat or is the Heater?

Though “Die Hard” was the originator of the “Euro trash gangsters in Armani suits” genre, La Femme perfected it. It’s directed by Luc Besson, you know, the cat that gave you “The professional” and “The Fifth Element”. It’s your typical “girl meets Crack, Girl kills Clerk, Girl gets Death Sentence, Secret Government Hit Squad Boss gives Girl second chance, Girl trains to become Secret Government Hit Squad Hit Woman, Girl rebels against Secret Government Hit Squad Boss, Secret Government Hit Squad Boss shoots Girl in the knee cap…” and that’s just the first 20 minutes of the movie!

Hip Factor: this movie gave Jean Reno his shot at stardom, and he knocked it out of the park. His supporting role as “the Cleaner” was so gully that he ended up reprising the role in his first staring role in Besson’s next masterpiece, “the Professional” as Leon.

The title character was played by Anne Parillaud, a French actress that never caught on in Hollywood (though she did star in the cult classic “Innocent Blood” as a Vampire taking out the New York Mafia). But this is her Tour de Force (you like the French double entendre? Oops I did it again!). She is a vision in her little black dress and Eff me Pumps while dumping a Desert Eagle on the croissant eating gangsters!

This flick also inspired a shitty shot by shot remake (with Bridget Fonda as Nikita and Harvey Keitel as the Cleaner), and a TV series that deserves no mention.

2. Hood Drama- Once Were Warriors

Whatchu looking at knucca? oh my face...my baaaaad!

Most of you muthasukkas probably think a Hood drama has to be American unless we’re talking about City of God, but I will do you one better. Do yourself a favor go cop this underappreciated gem. It might surprise you that it takes place in New Zealand, and that the Boyz N Da Hood are actually Maori. If you don’t know what a Maori is, think Samoan, but with more tats and instead of blunts imagine 40’s in their hands. The Maoris were systematically subjugated by the white government, and they’ve fallen into the familiar routines of welfare, abuse, and gangs. This movie tell the tale of Jake “The Muss”, a lovable loser that alternates between loving and terrorizing his family, all the while smashing skulls at his local watering hole. His kids all face the typical inner city choices, and each one handles it their own way. You are guaranteed to be both entertained and heart broken by this classic, it has been a personal favorite of mine since it’s original release.

Hip Factor: Though hardly any actors cross over to Hollywood, the actor portraying Jake the Muss, Temuera Morrison garnered enough attention that George Lucas cast him to play the Original Gangsta, Jango Fett (Bobba’s daddy) in the Star Wars Prequels. His other son in the movie ended up being the soldier cloned to become all the Storm Troopers. Also Cliff Curtis, as “Uncle Bully” found his way to classics like “Training Day” (he was the Mexican Mafia dude Smiley who almost capped the rookie in his crib), and Nig Heke was one of the freedom fighters in the Matrix. Not bad for a bunch of Kiwis!

3. Mafia flick- Gommora

This is what WE call Superman that Hoe!

Ok, so you’ve seen Mean Streets/Godfather/Goodfellas/Casino/Carlito/Donnie Brasco/Sporanos. You think you have it all figured out because you can name the Gambino’s current and past hierarchy, and can tell a cannelloni from tiramisu. But I bet you haven’t heard of Gommora, based on the best selling book by Roberto Saviano, who is now hiding for his life since the publication. What most people don’t know, is that the Camorra, a criminal group based out of Naples, runs all of Italy and most of Europe and only leaves the crumbs for the Cosa Nostra, Russians, and other ethnic groups. They do this through sheer terror and an unmatched ruthlessness when it comes to murder. Only recently have the Mexican cartels come close to what these cats have been doing for years! This movie shows every level of their operation, sort of like Traffic and Syriana have done with other types of criminals. You see bosses, captains, soldiers, runners, accountants, factories, waste management, even fashion. You’d be surprised to know most of the big Italian brands (you probably got some of their bootleg joints on right now!) get their clothes made by Camorra backed factories

Hip factor: This movie is part Goodfellas, part City of God, part Traffic, part Scarface, and part New Jack City. The younger thugs dress in sweat suits and rock big bling pieces, and run the housing projects they live in as giant dope houses, putting the Carter to shame!

4. Documentary- Slingshot Hip Hop

Afterparty: We get fondled by the IDF!

As far as docs go, this is about as good as it gets. We meet different Hip Hop crews in the occupied territories (notice I didn’t call it Israel) that are struggling to get their music out to the people, or even perform live in front of an audience. One of the more famous crew called DAM started as American Gangsta rap fans, and their early songs emulated the guns/drugs/hoes talk they had learned. But as the grip of Israel tightened on all Arabs, they started morphing into a political active movement, and their music started improving. They are also mentors to up coming conscious rappers like PR (Palestinian Rappers), Mahmoud Shalabi, and female artists Arapeyat and Sabreena Da Witch (Abeer). Guaranteed to put a lump in your throat and make you APPRECIATE where you live, this is truly and uplifting and thought provoking movie. You will see life under Israeli rule like you have never had the Western Media show you.

Hip Factor: The guys are huge Hip Hop fans, and when they show off their CD selection, you won’t be able to stop cheesing as you compare your library to theirs. Also having one of the crews meet Chuck D on his radio show and get his cosign is priceless!

5. Martial Arts- Street Fighter

Call me Bruce one more 'gain...one more 'gain!!!!

Japan’s answer to Bruce Lee (not Leroy), Sonny Chiba Takima (Terry in US versions) Tsurugi, simply the coldest cat to ever rock some pajamas…While Bruce lee only avenged his fam and the poor Chinese, the Street Fighter put is foot down anybody’s ass that crossed his path. This is the dude that castrates a rapist/pimp only to put the rescued chick to work on the track (or that’s how I remember it anyways)… I won’t bore with the storyline, since this is really meant to be an instructional movie for ass kicking seminars! Our boy demolishes his opponents with brutal tactics, including and X-Ray movie of some dude getting his skull penetrated…pimp down! There were also 2 sequels, “Return” and “Sister” of Street Fighter, pretty much the same amount of mayhem!

Hip Factor: The Street Fighter was the first film to receive an X rating solely for violence. Quentin Tarantino is the biggest Chiba Stan, in True Romance (written by Q), the lead character meet at a Street Fighter Festival, and later on used Sonny Chiba as the master sword maker in Kill Bill….yep that dude. Plus some of your favorite 90’s rappers dropped Sonny Chiba references, but most of you prolly though he was talking about blunts!

Honorable mention: Man Bites Dog.

Serial Killer gets followed by a camera crew in this fake documentary. Fun facts: Black and white movies in Belgium while deranged white man goes around town killing immigrants and homosexuals and women are just so fun…not! Ok, this is pretty depressing stuff, but it WAS groundbreaking, and the ending is so worth the wait!

Never That: Ghost Dog.

Nope, though one of my fave Jarmusch films, Ghost Dog doesn’t qualify, because at this point it’s become a favorite of every Wu head/Thugster/Zen master/Hipster. Nice try…..

Now it’s up to you fam, gimme your Top 5 list of flicks we probably never head of, and see if you have enough to defeat the master…..

~ by unkstick on July 28, 2009.